Well-known author and pastor Andy Stanley said that “lust isn’t a problem to be avoided; it’s an appetite to be managed…lust is actually a good thing within the right relationship. Truth be known, if it wasn’t for lust, you wouldn’t be here!”

But most men wrestle with lust. The enemy has used unmanaged lust to destroy far too many men in the church and to diminish the intense pleasure and satisfaction only available in the context of marriage. In Ephesians 5 Paul says that there must not even be a hint of sexual immorality. Let’s move towards that together.

In I Corinthians 7:2 Paul explained how: “Since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” In a world filled with sexual temptation, God instructs each husband to direct the good gift of sexual desire toward his own wife only. Imagine how the emotional and physical intimacy in your marriage might change if all of your lust was focused appropriately towards your bride and nowhere else, period!

Heroic Husband Challenge #5: The challenge before you today is to change what you look at and what you dwell upon. Here are some ideas that might help you intensify desire for your wife while freeing yourself from the bondage of sexual immorality.

  • Pray: Ask God today to transform you in this area. Confess how you have missed the mark and ask him to bring lasting change including a renewed, passionate desire for your wife.
  • Ask Daily: What are several things that I love about my wife’s body? It is a fact that her body and your body changes as you age. This question can only be answered in a positive way. Focus on what you like and enjoy about your wife’s body right now.
  • Look Away: Images of other women are everywhere. As heroic Christ-like men it is vital that we look away from those other women. This is purely a matter of choice and decision.
  • Look Towards: Your wife longs to be the only woman who catches your eye. Look towards her. Focus your gaze upon her body and tell her what you love about her.
  • Annihilate Thoughts: Kick thoughts out of your head. If a non-marital sexual image enters your mind, call up memories of exciting moments with your wife. You might even use the occasion to call or text to let your wife know you are thinking about her. Those are the only sexual memories that are appropriate and healthy.
  • Protect: Electronic devices (computer, mobile phone, iPad, tv, etc.) can be very dangerous when it comes to sexual temptation. Protect yourself from easy access to those things men are not wired to withstand. Use accountability software, passcodes, etc. You are in control of what comes on the screen. Act that way with diligence. Find an accountability partner and use accountability software for your computer or an app for your phone such as 3Xwatch.com.

Going Further: Increase passionate intimacy in your marriage by inviting your wife on a date designed to rekindle romance. Go to the INTENTIONAL HUSBANDS page for ideas.