God is the architect of marriage and he called the man to lead. Paul, in his instructions to the Ephesians, placed the husband as the head of the home (Ephesians 5:22-24). In The Christian Husband Bob Lepine writes, “We’re not talking about ability or about value. We’re talking about function. God’s design is that a wife should look to her husband for leadership and direction for her life. If our family were a corporation, our wives would be the chief operating officer, working hand in hand with us as the chief executive officer. Equal in value yet different in function. We are to help our wives employ their gifts and abilities in God’s service. A husband is given the God-ordained task of helping his wife to be all that God intends for her to be.”

One of a husband’s most important leadership tasks is to lead spiritually. It can also be one of the most awkward and difficult, especially when we perceive our wives as more Godly than ourselves. But you don’t need to be a life-long Christian, biblical scholar or prayer warrior to lead spiritually. You just need to initiate. Your wife doesn’t expect perfection. But she does long for you to make the first move.

Heroic Husband Challenge #2: Take simple steps to initiate spiritual connection with your wife in the next few days. Here are several possible starting points.

  • Initiate Prayer: Pick a time of day that works for you (i.e. before bed, morning). Hold hands while saying brief prayers for the day, your kids, mutual concerns, etc. Ask “How can I pray for you?” Aim for at least twice a week. Put it on your calendar and make sure it happens.
  • Initiate Spiritual Conversations: “How did God speak to your heart in the sermon? What did that special song at church mean to you? What is God teaching you?”
  • Initiate Bible Reading Together: Read a small portion of the Bible together and ask “What did those verses say to you?”
  • Initiate Small Group Participation: Are you in a small group? If not, make it happen this weekend. Be the leader by letting her know this is an important priority to you.
  • Initiate Serving Together: Research some options of how you and your wife can serve others together. Find a need you would enjoy meeting together.
  • Seek Christ Alone: You will not be able to give what you do not have. Spend time alone with God where you are seeking Him in his word and through prayer. Ask Him to mold you into a great spiritual leader in your marriage.

Going Further: Overcome obstacles to praying with your wife using tips available at the INTENTIONAL HUSBANDS page.