It’s much easier to model heroic manhood for others if you saw it modeled in your own home. Few things influence our perception of the heavenly Father more than the example of our own earthly fathers. What kind of example did you see growing up in your family?

Heroic Challenge #3: Assess the model of manhood you observed in your own home growing up. If you didn’t have a father in your home, reflect on the man who had the greatest influence on you as a child, for better or worse.

Which most closely aligns with his approach to relationships?

  1. “Step on others to get your way.”
  2. “Hurt them if they hurt you.”
  3. “Demand your rights.”
  4. “Mind your own business.”
  5. “Treat others with respect.”
  6. “Put others before yourself.”

How did he set and enforce rules in your home?

  1. Independent of relationship
  2. In reaction to stress
  3. Dictatorially
  4. Inconsistently
  5. Out of concern for my well-being
  6. In the context of a loving relationship

When together, what did you most often feel?

  1. Dread
  2. Tension
  3. Chaos
  4. Stability
  5. Calm
  6. Warmth

Which best describes how you observed him relate to your mother most of the time?

  1. An intense fight
  2. The silent treatment
  3. Detached apathy
  4. A strong disagreement
  5. A kind word
  6. An affectionate hug

How was his level of participation in spiritual activities?

  1. Nonexistent
  2. Rare
  3. Occasional
  4. Regimental
  5. Active
  6. Enthusiastic

Tally your score to determine the relative strength of the model you received.


Above 24 = Strong model of manhood

19-24 = Healthy model

14-18 = Mixed model – good and bad elements

10-13 = Weak model

Below 10 = Damaged model of manhood

No matter what kind of model you observed while growing up you can give something better to your own family. All it takes is a small amount of intentionality. Take the assessment again, but this time ask yourself how you want your own children/grandchildren to respond when they are your age.

Going Further:

Visit the TOOLS FOR MEN page to hear the free Prayer at Home audio podcast offering ideas for starting an intentional prayer routine.